He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
