By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You can't just leave with hair like that
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
