Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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