He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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