u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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