we have officially lost it.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
