he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
