Me too!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
