3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
