and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
