She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
This baby is an asshole
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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