You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize