i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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