Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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