Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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