so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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