He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
