I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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