her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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