Is it normal to miss your booty call?
That's intense
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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