Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
