Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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