Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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