...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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