Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
