Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.

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(417): View more from Missouri

Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.

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(315): View more from New York

Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.

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(631): View more from New York

he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I wish there were birth control emojis

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(419): View more from Ohio

Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.

(1-256): View more from Alabama

i thought he was gay wtf

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