Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
