Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
