i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
