In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
