Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
