My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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