I am puke
Non-Jews are for practice
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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