3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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