playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you win again, gameday.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If I die, sorry about rent.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I want a musical about memes.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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