it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
