I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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