He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
