Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
