You just made me feel so damn special
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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