yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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