I'm going to jail i love you
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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