1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize
