I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
