he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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