Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You should frame my arrest warrant.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
