i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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