awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
