apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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