But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
