forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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