Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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