The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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