three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
