So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize