Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Randomize