You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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